TEETH!

Last night while munching on a leftover cold bbq rib I accidentally bit into the bone and suddenly I felt and heard " CRACK,CRUNCH". My two front teeth (caps mind you) were destroyed! As I searched into the remnants of my tasty snack I saw little white chips in the middle of it. (YUK). I was mortified to say the least, and shocked as all get out at the accident. My heart started racing, I ran to the bathroom, and looked in the mirror. Low and behold as I opened my mouth all I had left were 2 little nubs of real front teeth staring back at me. OHMYGAD!!!! In my horror I looked like someone out of "Halloween". My heart sank; then as I kept looking the shock turned into amusement and I began to giggle uncontrollably. I reminded myself of an "I Love Lucy" episode where Lucy is the "Queen of the Gypsies."; toothless, hair all frizzed out and messed up, TOOTHLESS, with a big sh*t eatin' grin on her face. Thank God for Lucy! I guess I should count my blessings, I told myself. It didn't hurt at all when they cracked off my mouth. No blood, no nothing.......no teeth.

So today I went to the dentist thinking that this would take about an hour to put temporary caps back into my mouth so I could go to work tomorrow and not scare the bejesus out of the children. WRONG! I was snippily (is that a word?) informed that they needed the money up front before the dentist would proceed with fixing me up with temporaries. I was also informed that my dental insurance only pays 30 percent of the cost of the caps; and the caps cost almost 1000 dollars each!!! EGADS! So I call hubby at work and it must have been divine intervention because he answered the phone; and he never ever answers it. I told him the dentist wanted half the payment NOW and the other half in 10 days. Well I bet he turned blue just hearing that. So he rushed over to the dentist's office with a credit card to pay for it. Being mad is an understatement; he was furious. Reluctantly he gave the credit card to the receptionist and she tried to charge the nine hundred and something dollars to it; but it was DECLINED! I talked to the credit card rep who informed me that there was only 300 left on it. Well, I think hubby was ready to go postal as he loudly stated to the poor clerk "I've been coming here for years!" to which I flatly and calmly told him to calm down. Which he did, as he drove off to the bank to get the cash for payment. So 2 hours later I am still at the dentists waiting to get temps put back in my mouth. Hubby returns finally, pays, and goes home.....(thank God). By this time he was ready to split a gut. An hour later, after some mouth acrobatics, spitting and vacuuming the nice, slimmer, good looking dentist got the temps in. Now I can smile like a normal person again...for now, that is. Until I get the final bill! So three and a half hours later and 2000 dollars poorer I have new front teeth. Thank God for small favors eh??? ;-)