I'm not ready for this

My daughter will be leaving for Florida in six days. Her father and I are going with her in her car and driving all the way to Tampa where we will stay with my sister. I have a lot of mixed emotions about the whole situation.

Sure, I'm going to love seeing my sis again. I just finished talking to her on the phone; and it's been over 6 years since we saw each other! Sure, I'm going to love to sit at the beach and watch the sun go down while I drink a pina colada from a straw. I'll love seeing and listening tothe waves splash against the sun baked sand. I'm just not quite ready to leave my youngest, my daughter ,who just turned 21 ,there all alone to face the world on her own. She's ready, I'm not.

I suppose you could be philosophical about it. Isn't that what parents are SUPPOSED to do? Teach their children to be self sufficient and independent? THEN WHY DO I FEEL LIKE CRAP!?? Why is it that when I sat outside earlier as I enjoyed the cool breeze and the fresh air I suddenly found myself crying?? How can I be happy and sad at the same time? It's possible.

This n' That

I've been sitting at this computer for hours when it is a beautiful day today. Why? I don't know why. Perhaps I"m a little sad. Perhaps I'm just being lazy. Perhaps I'm bored. I know, you're saying to yourself, "how can you be bored?" I used to say to my kids when they said they were bored, "UNBORE YOURSELF!!"

There's so much I could do; but it all involves CLEANING and I really don't wanna do that. I do enough of that at work. No, I"m not a cleaning lady, not per se, I have to clean up after the preschoolers in my class. Make sure the tables are sanitized, chairs are wiped, papers are tidy, etc etc, besides interacting, teaching, and guiding the little darlin's. So by the time I get home I"m not exactly enthused about doing it all over again in my own home; til it gets totally disgusting (like four inches of dust and a layer of pet hair so thick on my carpet you can't see the pattern in it anymore).

Only a few weeks til my Jessica goes away to college in Florida. We are driving down there and flying back, leaving her behind in her own apartment she will share with 3 other students. So we'll travel light and just take her essentials----clothes, shampoos and hair doodads galore. I hope we can stuff it all in the trunk of her car; she's got a small one. I am looking forward to seeing my sister Josephine and her new condo. And I'm so wanting to sit by the ocean, sipping a cold drink and watching the sun go down. Feeling the breeze on my face, watching the tides come and go; smelling the salty air and listening to the peaceful sound of the waves splashing at my feet. God I hope there is no hurricane!!!! I have many thoughts on taking her down there, but for now, I'll just keep them in my heart.

My Father 2

Dad was much older than mom. He met her in Greece. I don't know how exactly but my mother lived in Pireaus, Greece, which is a port town of Athens. From what I have been told they were introduced by a friend of his who was also in the merchant marines. They married in Greece, in the Greek Orthodox Church. My mom claimed she was only 16. My dad was around 40 years old. I guess at that time a May/December marriage was not that uncommon. Nor was an arranged one either. I can only assume that mom and her family, her brothers included, wanted her to get away from post WWII Greece and away from the Nazis. They wanted her to have a better life in America. I suppose she wanted a better life too. This is all theory; I really don't know the true story behind the marriage. Perhaps they fell in love???? I know Mom was a beautiful young woman; there are pictures of her to prove it.

Anyway, getting back to Dad, whose name is Juan Navarro Tigmo, He was born in April, 1905. At the time he met my mother he was already divorced from his first wife, Frances, and had 2 grown and married children. The first one was Evelyn. She married Harold Relucio and they had 3 children, Harold Jr., Roger, and Theresa. The second one was John Tigmo Jr. He married a woman named Frances and they had 3 children also. They are John, Mary Frances and Karen. But I digressed; let me get back to Dad.

Anyway, Dad and Mom married, moved to Brooklyn New York, and had Adrian. Then they moved to Clifton New Jersey and had Juanita, Josephine and myself. We lived in Clifton until I was about a year old. Then we moved to Elizabeth NJ We lived in an apartment on East Jersey Street upstairs from an antique store owned by a Portuguese family whose name I have forgotten. Dad worked at Alexian Brothers Hospital and Elizabeth General Hospital as head cook. He also moonlighted for a caterer named Johnny Bond.

As I mentioned before, Dad loved to dance. He was even on television. He used to be a dancer at Arthur Murray's dance studio and was televised. He danced ballroom. I remember seeing him at hospital gala's in his tuxedo dancing with a beautiful woman who wore a very wide crinolin floofy ball gown. He always wore sunglasses at these events. I think it was to hide his "oriental-looking" eyes. Or maybe he thought he looked more debonair??? He didn't need them; he was handsome just the way he was. It never, ever, dawned on me that my dad was not white. I knew he was Filipino, but I didn't realize the ramifications of having an Asian father instead of a white one. Having an oriental FATHER and a caucasian MOTHER was NOT common. I didn't notice the difference between dad's olive skin and black hair and Filipino accent and my mother's fair skin and medium brown hair and her Greek accent. They were just mommy and daddy to me; Ma and Dad as I got older. \

To be continued............................

My Father

Today is the 40th anniversary of my father's passing away. I remember it like it was yesterday. My dad was in upstate New York working at a resort as a chef for the summer. My mother got a phone call in the late afternoon. I heard the phone ring from upstairs and picked up the receiver. I heard my mom pick up the one downstairs in the kitchen. I listened to the conversation on the extension upstairs. It was someone from his job. He told her that my dad had died suddenly. I immediately ran downstairs. Apparently he had a heart attack at work. I remember the day before he called home and asked my mother to send him his pills because he wasn't feeling well. I never knew exactly what those pills were; I was 13 at the time. I remember my mother yelling "oh my God, No!" My sister came home just then and was told. My mother tried to reach my half sister Evelyn but couldn't. Little did we know that she was on her way to our house just to visit and by coincidence arrived shortly thereafter. Call it fate, coincidence divine intervention, whatever. It was as if she had an intuition about it. I remember that in May, four months earlier, he was pretty sick with pneumonia; or so they said. He probably had heart failure. I remember the death certificate said he died of "hardening of the artieries." I suppose that was a term they used back then.

My dad was a great guy. Although my mom and he did not always get along, he loved us very much. He was an extrovert. Loved to play tennis, and was a ballroom dancer. According to my aunt Patsy (his sister in law) Daddy was a stowaway on a ship from the Phillippines when he was 13. After he helped his brother Manuel come to the states. My dad and Uncle Manuel were merchant marines during WWII. I remember a picture of him in his uniform. He looked very handsome. I don't know where that portrait ended up. He became head chef (or cook) at various local hospitals. He would come home with the scent of food all around him......and I loved it. He taught me how to do the "Cha Cha" and the Fox trot when I was a little girl. He taught me prayers of his childhood. He ate with his hands, not with a fork, because that was the custom of his people. He had many friends and was a "ladies man." I say this with affection; not disdain. There are many other memories I have of him that I will blog at a later date. But for now I just wanted to say , I love you Daddy, I miss you still. I cherish the memories I have of you. I know you and Mom are watching over us and smiling. Keep dancing Daddy! Love, Your Daughter, Georgie. xoxo.

Refrigerator recipe

Now I know it's nothing new to take leftovers from the kitchen and make a new dinner out them; but I have to tell you about my soup. Being that I don't like catfish fillets, I concocted a soup out of the following foods:
1: leftover cooked ground beef
2: leftover spaghetti sauce
3: leftover corn
4: frozen brocolli
5: a can of cannellini beans, drained
5: water
6: fresh baby basil leaves
7: a handful of orzo pasta
8: garlic, onion and adobo seasoning

Throw it all in a pot, bring to a boil. Simmer til orzo is done. Mangia! Brian put tobbasco sauce in his bowl to give it some kick.

If you have a refrigerator recipe you want to share, just blog it to me.

Rennaisance Faire!!!

I love rennaisance music! It started about a year ago when I bought Sting'sSongs From the Labyrinth cd. I was an avid Shakespeare fan when I was in high school. Ok, thou may calleth me a geek. But I truly loved reading Billy Shakes at the time. I even borrowed an LP soundtrack of "Julius Caesar so I could read it and listen to it at the same time. Ok, so I was a geek, but I aced the class!!! ;-) My hs English teacher, Mr. Mohr, was this cute guy with hens on his tie that would play Elizabethan music in class. (Could it be I had this awful school girl crush on the guy??? ;-) ) Anyway, I must have stored this love of Elizabethan music in the back of my brain because as soon as I listened to Sting play the lute and sing "can she excuse my wrongs with virtues cloak" I went nuts! So I've been looking for rennaisance fairs around the area. I want to dress up as the old nursemaid ; like the one that took care of Juliet. I want to speak "Elizabonics." There are a number of websites that teach just that. My coworker told me there is to be one in the City of Milan........(no, not Milan Italy, although I wish that were true), Milan Illinois, at the end of this month! My heart delighteth intensely! Anticipation maketh me joyful so immensely! Ok, I'LL STOP! I'd put the link of the cd in the blog but I don't know how. Do you?

Thoughts On Life

Hmmmmmmm, let's see......now........hmmmmmmmm. What is the meaning of life? Can I sum it up in 200 words or less? Absolutely not. All I can say that from my own experience Life can SUCK. But, on the other hand, when you think beyond what is "sucky" about it, when you know that God has His hand in it, then you can rest assured that no matter what, no matter how devastating, awful, terrible it can be, that your suffering and pain ARE not in vain. You can offer all your painfulness to the ONE WHO SUFFERED FOR ALL OF US. That is redemptive suffering; it is NOT in vain. If you want to know more about redemptive suffering, life, love, spirituality then please go to www.ewtn.com for more information.

Let me back track. About fifteen years ago I went through a rough patch. I won't bore you with the details but if it weren't for my Catholic faith I don't believe I would have been able to cope. Now, I know some of you might think , "oh, she used her faith as a crutch", and you might be right in one respect. But Jesus told his disciples, give me your burdens;for my yoke is not heavy and my burden is light. Don't we all need someone to help us get through this existence called LIFE? And, I like this passage from the Psalms: "I can do all things with God who strengthens me." And didn't He tell us to love one another as I HAVE LOVED YOU? So if we are to love one another as He loved us, in one way that means we do what we have to do in order to do for others; and no matter how boring or tedious it may be, we are blessed. I think Mother Theresa said to do small things with great love is better than to to great things with no love.

But on a more secular note, as parents, as adults, as members of the human race, we work to put food on the table, clothes on our backs, a roof over our heads. Some are more fortunate than others and do it the way they want to. Others don't have that luxury for one reason or another.
But no matter how it's done, it's done out of love. The real deal kind of love. Either way, we are blessed by our Heavenly Father in ways we even aren't aware of. Now I'm gettin' spiritual again............eeeks. My husband is like that. Stayed with a tedious job for 35 years to support his family. But he chose to be a machinist; he was lucky he knew exactly what he wanted to do. Still at it; that's his ethic. He always put others first; me, his children, his family. Now I'm rambling. DO WHAT YA GOTTA DO.

Culinary Catastrophes

Did you ever have one of those moments when nothing went right? A while ago, a few summers ago to be exact, I decided to be creative and embark on making a pizza. Now ordinarily making pizza is not that difficult. As long as you have the right ingredients it usually comes out pretty good. NOT NEW JERSEY GOOD, but edible nonetheless. Those of you from the Garden State know what I mean.

To make a long story short (yeah, right) I decided to grill the pizza instead of putting it in the oven like normal people. But I'm not normal (according to my family) so, I thought, "why not?" I saw Michael Chiarello, Emeril, and Bobby make grilled pizza! Oh, and that cocky rich women who lives in the Hamptons that has a show on how to make everything you cook "simply Fabulous!" grilled pizza too. So why not me? After making the homemade sauce (gravy ----as my best friend Angel whom I have not talked to at all lately because I'm lazy, and who is also half Italian will tell you it should be called), shredding the mozzeralla cheese by hand with a grater, making homemade pizza dough, adding herbs and seasonings and EVOO and plenty of GAHHHLICK, I was ready to assemble the tasty treat.

Ohhhhhhh, this is gonna be goooood, I thought. WRONG! What I forgot to do was follow the recipe directions. Thinking that I was ready to be THE NEXT FOODNETWORK STAR I didn't bother following them. Why should I? I thought, I know what I'm doing. HA! I carefully assembled the pizzas and plopped them on the fired up Weber grill. Covered them with the lid and was all full of myself.

Little did I know that grilling everything at once, dough and toppings together at once, made for a burnt pizza crust that stuck to the grill! OHMYGAD! I couldn't get them off the dang grill! What was I to do? I tried to get them off with a spatula. It didn't work. I tried folding them over like a big calzone. That made them tear apart into a big glob of saucy goo. I tried to reassemble them into ta pizza likeness, but all that came out looked like something I stuck in a blender. But my kids, being good sports, nibbled at it anyway..........as they laughed wholeheartedly. That was ok, I laughed with them. I learned a lot that day. You decide what.

I could do that!

I finished a "romance novel" last night. I needed some escape from my usual predictable life, so I read the novel in haste. It was a nineteenth century English countryside setting. As I read it I realized that hey, I could write one of these novels! There's nothing really to it. I figured out some things; there needs to be a number of ingredients for this recipe called "the juicy novel". Here's what I think they are:
1. There has to be a tall, dark and handsome main character, male, of course.
2. There has to be a beautiful and curvy main female character.
3. Virginity plays a major role in the plot.
4. Losing one's virginity is another major factor in the plot.
5. Tension between the main characters has to exist; be it sexual or otherwise.
6. Conflict between classes has to be in the mix.
7. It has to be in the countryside of some land; or at least in an exciting atmosphere.
8. There are flawed but sympathetic secondary characters
9. There will be drinking
10. There will be explicit content.

So, there is my formula. Perhaps I can write one and make boatloads of money on the royalties???? One can dream, can't one? HAHAHA!

Death of a baby bird

Today I went into my backyard and noticed that the little baby bird on the ground was dead. I was so sad. Last Sunday I heard a bluejay singing and shrieking in the back yard. My dog was sniffing at something in the grass. As he did that a large momma bird shrieked and swooped down at him as if she were going to attack. I looked at where the dog was and saw a baby bird with newly formed feathers sitting quietly. It was still alive at the time. I told Trout (the dog) to leave the baby bird alone and come into the house with me, which he did. I felt helpless, knowing that there was no way I could take that bird and save it. I thought about retrieving it and putting it in a handmade nest, but I then figured it wouldn't eat from me and its mother certainly wouldn't take care of it once I handled it. So I let it be, hoping naively that perhaps the momma bird would somehow retrieve it and put it back into its' nest. But that wasn't to be. So now my husband is going out there to bury it in the garden. The momma bird is no longer in my tree; no more singing and shrieking. She's gone too.

TEETH!

Last night while munching on a leftover cold bbq rib I accidentally bit into the bone and suddenly I felt and heard " CRACK,CRUNCH". My two front teeth (caps mind you) were destroyed! As I searched into the remnants of my tasty snack I saw little white chips in the middle of it. (YUK). I was mortified to say the least, and shocked as all get out at the accident. My heart started racing, I ran to the bathroom, and looked in the mirror. Low and behold as I opened my mouth all I had left were 2 little nubs of real front teeth staring back at me. OHMYGAD!!!! In my horror I looked like someone out of "Halloween". My heart sank; then as I kept looking the shock turned into amusement and I began to giggle uncontrollably. I reminded myself of an "I Love Lucy" episode where Lucy is the "Queen of the Gypsies."; toothless, hair all frizzed out and messed up, TOOTHLESS, with a big sh*t eatin' grin on her face. Thank God for Lucy! I guess I should count my blessings, I told myself. It didn't hurt at all when they cracked off my mouth. No blood, no nothing.......no teeth.

So today I went to the dentist thinking that this would take about an hour to put temporary caps back into my mouth so I could go to work tomorrow and not scare the bejesus out of the children. WRONG! I was snippily (is that a word?) informed that they needed the money up front before the dentist would proceed with fixing me up with temporaries. I was also informed that my dental insurance only pays 30 percent of the cost of the caps; and the caps cost almost 1000 dollars each!!! EGADS! So I call hubby at work and it must have been divine intervention because he answered the phone; and he never ever answers it. I told him the dentist wanted half the payment NOW and the other half in 10 days. Well I bet he turned blue just hearing that. So he rushed over to the dentist's office with a credit card to pay for it. Being mad is an understatement; he was furious. Reluctantly he gave the credit card to the receptionist and she tried to charge the nine hundred and something dollars to it; but it was DECLINED! I talked to the credit card rep who informed me that there was only 300 left on it. Well, I think hubby was ready to go postal as he loudly stated to the poor clerk "I've been coming here for years!" to which I flatly and calmly told him to calm down. Which he did, as he drove off to the bank to get the cash for payment. So 2 hours later I am still at the dentists waiting to get temps put back in my mouth. Hubby returns finally, pays, and goes home.....(thank God). By this time he was ready to split a gut. An hour later, after some mouth acrobatics, spitting and vacuuming the nice, slimmer, good looking dentist got the temps in. Now I can smile like a normal person again...for now, that is. Until I get the final bill! So three and a half hours later and 2000 dollars poorer I have new front teeth. Thank God for small favors eh??? ;-)

Let Freedom Ring!

We made it through another 4th of July celebration. It was a glorious day! No hot sticky humid yukky weather in which to walk 3 miles just to get to a good spot to watch the fireworks. We did that yesterday with our good friends. Friends we've known for 30 years and more. The tradition of this couple of friends coming over on the Fourth started when the kids were very small. Now their kids are grown, gone and have lives of their own. They brought their puppy instead ;-). My oldest son did bring his girlfriend and her small children. My other two adult kids were working and in Tennessee. It was nice to have children running around; playing with the new outdoor ball toss game they put together. We talked about the present state of affairs of our kids; but mostly remaniced about when they were small. <>.

I managed to get the food all done that morning. Potato salad, pasta salad, fire roasted corn and jalapeno dip with baked tortilla chips, roasted corn on the cob and bbq'd ribs. I admit it takes me A LOT longer to get everything done now that I'm getting older. Hubby made country style ribs. They were delicious! He could go one on one with Bobby Flay without flinching. The corn dip was a big hit! The recipe is from Emeril Lagasse from the Food Network (www.foodnetwork.com). Hey, I give credit where it's due! All in all it was a wonderful afternoon. After our friends left ,my son, his love, and her 3 little ones all took a nap in the living room while watching Ninja Turtles ;-). It was so nice and peaceful; I even managed to clean up afterwards, make myself some much needed coffee, and relax! FAMILY, FRIENDS, FOOD, LOVE. Life is good....................

Bigger and Better Things

Today was the last day for the pre school teacher I have been working with this past year. She opted not to renew her contract with the community school district. She is a bright,young, new teacher who did her job with determination, compassion and a great deal of humor! I was her teacher associate (fancy name for teacher aid). She is the teacher I wanted to be at her age. Now she's going to a larger city where she is looking for another teaching position in the grade school level. I will miss her easygoing-ness with me and other associates. She was always willing to do her job and pitch in and go beyond her own job to help me out when needed. She never acted like she was "above" doing the tasks that are usually delegated to associates. If the floor needed sweeping while I was busy with a child with issues, she swept it. If I was getting the children ready to brush their teeth and one of them poopied in their pants she would change them without relegating the task to me just because it "wasn't her job." So, I tried to give her 150 per cent because I appreciated it immensely. I wish her well and great happiness and success in her future. She will be missed!

Things I Want to Do

1. Take a watercolor class. I work with preschool children and everytime we get out the watercolors and paper I love to sit with the little ones and paint. It calms my soul, it brings me to "that place" I call ME. It's amazing what preschoolers can paint! They are totally oblivious to "what's right or what's wrong." They go at it with sheer joy and gusto. They love to cover the paper with gobs of color and you would be amazed at how beautiful they turn out. When they paint you can tell they are putting their whole selves into the experience; it's as if they are in their "zone". Maybe in my next life (or in Heaven, I hope), I will be an art teacher, inspiring the little ones to just go at it with sheer joy!

2. Learn to read music so I can play my electric keyboard. I know I can play it without knowing the notes but I really want to know what I'm doing, why I'm hitting THAT key instead of THIS one. If there is only one song I want to learn to play it would be "To Take, To Hold" composed by Yanni. Ok, don't laugh, yes, I said Yanni. He is a wonderful composer; especially his early stuff. This above mentioned song is in his cd "In My Time." That song brings memories to me of feelings I have had that I have no words to express .

3. Make a quilt. I've always wanted to learn how. A former coworker of mine makes gorgeous quilts.

4. Really get out there and cook like there's no tomorrow. I love to cook, but I've been getting in a slump lately. I will let you know about some of my culinary catastrophes (my kids laugh about them all the time) at a later date. I have to admit, grilled pizza was the most hilarious error I had ever made! ;-)

5. Get my bathroom remodeled. It desparately needs it. It's been 30 years since we did anything major to it. I can't wait until the vent is installed so I can switch it on with the light and get all that moisture/humidity/mildewy crap out of my bathroom; then on to our bedroom. We wallpapered it 20 years ago; mauve and pink and light blue flowers are soooooooo eighties!

I'm sick ;-(

I hate being sick! Who likes it anyway??? Dumb statement.....the first one, that is. I stayed home from work , took a long nap and glad I don't have to go to the doctor's office.......I hate that too. Prescription is waiting for me at the pharmacy; hoooorayyyy!

On Friends and Family

I talked to my sister who lives a thousand miles away, and who lives thirty minutes from where my daughter will be attending college and she was very happy to let her (my daughter) come and stay with her the week before she is to start school. Jessie wants to get acclimated to the town; where to go, where NOT to go, where to get an apartment, how to get around, etc. etc. It makes me feel much better that my big sister is happy to help. Now I can relax just a little bit about Jess going so far away.

I thought about making a set of rules, which is funny in my mind, because she NEVER followed any rules I imposed, even when she was a teenager. But, she was happy to listen to one important rule: DON'T EVER GO ANYWHERE BY YOURSELF IN THAT BIG BAD TOWN YOU WILL LIVE IN! Now we have to make plans for driving there a week before classes start so she can get settled in. I am looking forward to the visit with sis and seeing the sights, but a flash of an image of leaving her ; seeing her beautiful face as she ways "so long", (never, ever "goodbye") to me is already pulling at my heart. Keep praying, that's all I can say to my self and to God.

This Much I Know

Well, this is my very first attempt at blogging. So for all you veteran bloggers, please bear with me. Nothing fancy, no pics for now; just a few thoughts coming from my head.

After reading my 26 year old son's blog I decided it would be fun to try it myself. So here goes.

I have three beautiful adult children, two sons and a daughter. My husband and I came home a little while ago from picking up my 20 year old daughter from the airport. You see, she just checked out a college in another state some 1000 miles away . Now I know she's always been independant and head strong; and once she decides something she does not waver. But I am already feeling mother anxst. After all, she is my youngest. Going out into the big bad world to a large city far far away I'm sure is totally exciting for her yet very daunting for me, her MOTHER. But I'm trying not to think too far into the future because it will only increase my anxiety about the whole situation. You moms out there with adult kids well know the feeling of having to let go .....watching them, hoping for them, and praying for them from the sidelines. You breath a sigh of relief for a short tiime and try to prepare for the next phase or hurdle. I could go on about that right now; but I won't.....at least for now. Which reminds me of the song from "Fiddler On the Roof." Sunrise, sunset, swiftly fly the years. One season following another, laden with happiness and tears. I know this is sappy, but hey...........